New Site. New Home

Dear Poop Deck Community,
This is my last post (I think) from this address. The Captain has a new home and he would love all of you to visit if you haven’t already.
The new site (easy to remember)
talesfromthepoopdeck.com
Go visit and bring a friend:)
For now…Captain out.
And if you haven’t “Liked” me on Facebook yet, we can still friends…as long as you follow the link and hit that button.

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We Be True Pirates

Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 2135.
So over the weekend we had some fun. We made a pirate flag!

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This was actually a pretty simple project. First The Captain went to the Goodwill Outlet store – which is like a real life Mos Eisley spaceport (Star Wars reference). The cool thing about the GWO is that you pay by the pound. Yep, they weigh your cart. So, for about 49¢, The Captain was the proud owner of a black blanket.
Next I purchased two poster boards to make a skull stencil.

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The Captain is not a great artist, but a skull and cross bones was not too difficult. The Eldest helped me with the drawing and cutting.
We cut out the eyes and nose and teeth in order to place them inside of the stencil.
Next, we took spray paint (99¢) and sprayed inside of the stencil. The Eldest had a hard time pushing the button down, but had fun nonetheless.
Next time we might do it the old fashioned way and steal one from a Jimmy Buffet concert buy one from Amazon, but this was a quick and easy project to do with the kiddo. This also means that we are officially pirates! Warned ye be!
Arrrrrgh!
For now…Captain out.
P.S. Stay tuned…The Poop Deck will have a new home very soon…and we want to make sure that everyone comes with us. Announcement coming soon!

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My Take on the Zimmerman Trial (New Life of Dad Post)

I have a new post up today on Life of Dad.  I would be greatly appreciative if you gave it a read and a share.  I would also love to hear your comments.  Feel free to tweet me (@acjlist) or drop by my Facebook page.

For now…Captain out.

P.S.  Don’t forget…big news coming this week in the Poop Deck Community.

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Toilet Talk

“I participated in a campaign for Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Delta Faucet. I received a promotional item as a thank you for participating”

One of the many things that we talk about here in the Poop Deck Community is, well, poop.  So what better place to share the line of Delta Corrente Toilets from Delta Faucet? What does one want out of a toilet?  Other than the obvious use, if you are looking for something virtually clog free (and if you have kids, you know this is essential), and a toilet that saves you money on your water bill (potentially up to $90 a year according to the WaterSense label) – you might want to check out the Corrente line.

The good people at Delta have raised the odds in this being a simple DIY project by including an EZ OUT kit, which helps you uninstall your old commode without tarnishing your bathroom.  If you are thinking about upgrading your toilet- check out the Delta Corrente line.  They can be found, and purchased, at Deltafaucet.com and Homedepot.com

If happen to do this project, I would love to see a picture up on the Poop Deck Community Facebook Wall

For now…Captain out. 

P.S.  We have some big news coming next week.  Stay tuned. 

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How to Nap a Child

Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 2123. Every now and then parents witness a rarity. I have rocked both of my kids asleep many times and witness their descent into nap-time. However, you usually do not get to see the children submit to the Sandman on their own. And when you do, it is a hilarious site.
I submit to you now, the first Poop Deck Community video. I gave it a short title- “The Diaper Dweller Watching Nemo While Playing With His Sister’s Toys and Gets Knocked Out By The SandMan While His Mom and I Watch.”
If you turn up the volume, the sound Dory makes as he falls over is hilarious. We couldn’t have staged it better.
Update: Apparently, WordPress won’t let me upload the video…SO you will have to visit my Facebook page to watch. And while you are there…give me a like:).
For now…Captain out!

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When Pinterest Attacks

Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 2122. Well yesterday was a win and a loss. The win is that I found the perfect black blanket from Goodwill that will serve as a tremendous pirate flag.
The loss? A Pinterest Project.
I partially blame Mrs, Captain for this. She jinxed me. Before I started the project, my lovely wife showed me a site called “Nailed It” where people attempted Pinterest Projects and they just didn’t quite turn out right. She thought it was hysterical. At the time, I did not.
I had spent over and hour in Home Depot finding the supplies.

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The one piece I couldn’t find is the piece that attaches to the hose. So I improvised – with the aid of my friendly neighborhood Home Depot employee, Gary.
I showed him the pin on my Pinterest app (nothing manlier than discussing your pins in the aisle of Home Depot, right?). Gary thought it was a great idea and did not judge my minor Pinterest addiction.
We used a material called Shark Bite instead of PVC because it would more easily attach to the hose. Gary literally spent the better part of an hour with me. On a Pinterest project. Gary is awesome.
I got home and began to assemble the pieces. Visions of fatherhood glory played in my head as I envisioned every kid and parent wanting to come to our yard and play in our 5 squared foot sprinkler. I could charge admission and maybe set up a hot dog stand.
So this is how it was supposed to look.

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And this is how it tuned out…

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That’s right. I have the sprinkler system with performance anxiety.
So I read the comments to see if I had done something wrong. Turns out it happens to a lot of guys Pinterest users. And I wasn’t the only one to not find the magical hose connector.
Well, I really nailed this one. Somewhere Mrs. Captain is laughing, but I’m not giving up. It is a really cool project. I have a few ideas of how I can make this thing better. And I’m sure that Gary will help me out again. I’ll let you know the progress, Poop Deck Community.
For now…Captain out.
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New Life of Dad Post

Poop Deck Community,
I have a new post up on Life of Dad. Please go check it out! Double play Wednesday! Have a great day.
Captain out.

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Trash Talk

Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 2120. One of the many chores duties that I perform is being the waste management officer of our household.
That’s right…I take out the trash.
It is a fairly routine disgusting weekly ritual. I walk the rooms, empty the cans, and then take the bags to the curb. The trash man and I have not always been on the best terms. There was the time he refused to take my Christmas tree because it exceeded the 3 foot limit (it was 3.5 feet). So I shaved a half foot off and left the tree and clipped limb on the tree lawn (that’s what we call it where I’m from) for him to get.
Then there was the time it rained and the grass clippings bag broke. That joker took the bag and left the clippings on a piece of cardboard.
Then there was the time that the bag that had the cat litter exceeded the weight limit and so he left it there.
But my all time favorite? The time he yelled at me to hurry during the great ice storm of 2011. He came unexpectedly (trash pickup had been canceled for two days straight) and I as I walked slid down the ice covered driveway he barked at me to hurry. I slammed my can down in front of his truck (more because I lost my balance). He grumbled something under his breath, jumped out of his truck, snatched my trash can, and then proceeded to slip and fall. I laughed under my breath and then skated up my driveway. Captain 1 – Grumpy Trashman 0.
But I digress. We have a new trashman and I am not sure what he thinks of us yet. I will be really curious tomorrow. Mrs. Captain did some purging of broken toys. So buried in my can is a bag of misfit toys. The problem? There is a duck that still quacks. It’s a little freaky. It’s like the part of Peter and the Wolf where you can still hear the duck after he has been swallowed whole by the wolf. I still cry for that duck, but not this one. This is one broken Duck Dynasty.
Hopefully, it does not freak out the nice garbage man in the morning. I would hate to ruffle his feathers. Hopefully, it makes him chuckle a bit. In fact, I hope it QUACKS him up. For now…Captain out.
Have you Liked The Captain on Facebook yet? Stop by and say hello –

https://www.facebook.com/TheCaptainsLogBlog

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Pirates We Be

Captain’s Log.  Daddy Chronicles.  Diaper Date 2119.  So the Captain has been searching for some cool summertime activities to do with the crew.  I was gazing outside when I realized -  we don’t have a pirate flag.

So the plan today is to procure the necessary materials to create a flag to fly atop our playset.

So I did what any modern dad does.  I googled pirate pictures and sat with The Eldest to see what style she liked the best.  To my astonishment, she wants a mean looking pirate.  The chances of that happening are slim to none because The Captain is not a great artist. But I am also wondering if The Eldest is taking this pirate thing a bit too close to heart, and if Mrs. Captain and I should sleep with one eye open. I guess only time will tell.

I’m not sure how to make a stick figure skull and bones, but I have a feeling that we will see one when this is said and done.  And it may have a smile.

There is another project that I am attempting to construct, but I am going to keep that one under wraps for now.  Pictures to follow soon, we hope.

In the meantime, while The Captain is cruising around looking for Pirate supplies, what summertime activities do you enjoy the most over the summer?  Leave me some love in the comments below.

For now…Captain out!

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My Daughter Is NOT Your GIRLFRIEND

Captain’s Log.  Daddy Chronicles.  Diaper Date 2115.  As a teacher I know that there are many times that I have to intercede and settle petty disputes.  While I do not consider myself as wise as King Solomon, I hope that I am fair in my judgments  As a father, I have also had to make certain rulings.  Sometimes these rulings involve siblings, neighbors, friends, etc.  Be it as a father or a teacher, it is hard because you can’t make everyone happy.

However, sometimes it gets personal.  And last week it got personal.

In my classroom we deal with the difference between connotation and denotation.,  I like to compare connotations to baggage that words have – sometimes that baggage is a good thing and sometimes it can be negative.,  Rarely is it indifferent.

My daughter has friends of both genders. Friends that are boys and friends that are girls.  Obviously there is a stigma to saying that you have a “boyfriend” or a “girlfriend”.

I just didn’t think it started when you were 5.

Apparently, one of her (boy) friends, friends that is a boy, was being teased by other boys because he plays with her.  And because of that he told her that he didn’t want to play with her anymore because they called her his girlfriend.

Now Poop Deck Community bare with me here.  I was thrilled to learn that I was a father.  And I was equally  thrilled to learn that I was the father of a daughter.  But since the day The Eldest was born, there is one thing I have been preparing myself for – boys.

Yes, I know girls can be mean.  And who knows, maybe boys will never be a problem?  But that doesn’t keep me from preparing myself.

Every time I workout watch infomercials of people working out, I imagine chiseling myself into the dad that no boy would mess with.  I imagine standing at the door breaking boards with my pinkie in a tank top, with a prison number tattooed on my neck (fake of course, but looking like a real tattoo) while I sip a latte (other pinkie up). But I digress.

Back to the situation.  I had to take a minute to take the whole situation in.  I knew The Eldest would have been saddened by the loss of a friend.  I also knew that the boy didn’t mean any harm.  He wasn’t saying anything was wrong with my daughter.  He was just trying to break up with her as a friend.

Because of what his “friends” were saying.

The father bear in me wanted to tattoo the prison numbers on my neck and talk to these boys.  However, sanity took over.

“Why can’t you play with her?  Because your friends are making fun of you?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well, let me make this simple.  If they are making fun of you for having a friend then they aren’t good friends.  Secondly, and this is important –

My daughter is NOT your girlfriend.”

“Uh huh.”

“Now go play.”

Five minutes later the two of them were laughing a playing.  And they probably wouldn’t remember the conversation if asked about it now.  But it now lingers in my head.  My first run in as an overprotective father.

I think I passed with flying colors.

For now…Captain Out.

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