My Daughter Is NOT Your GIRLFRIEND

Captain’s Log.  Daddy Chronicles.  Diaper Date 2115.  As a teacher I know that there are many times that I have to intercede and settle petty disputes.  While I do not consider myself as wise as King Solomon, I hope that I am fair in my judgments  As a father, I have also had to make certain rulings.  Sometimes these rulings involve siblings, neighbors, friends, etc.  Be it as a father or a teacher, it is hard because you can’t make everyone happy.

However, sometimes it gets personal.  And last week it got personal.

In my classroom we deal with the difference between connotation and denotation.,  I like to compare connotations to baggage that words have – sometimes that baggage is a good thing and sometimes it can be negative.,  Rarely is it indifferent.

My daughter has friends of both genders. Friends that are boys and friends that are girls.  Obviously there is a stigma to saying that you have a “boyfriend” or a “girlfriend”.

I just didn’t think it started when you were 5.

Apparently, one of her (boy) friends, friends that is a boy, was being teased by other boys because he plays with her.  And because of that he told her that he didn’t want to play with her anymore because they called her his girlfriend.

Now Poop Deck Community bare with me here.  I was thrilled to learn that I was a father.  And I was equally  thrilled to learn that I was the father of a daughter.  But since the day The Eldest was born, there is one thing I have been preparing myself for – boys.

Yes, I know girls can be mean.  And who knows, maybe boys will never be a problem?  But that doesn’t keep me from preparing myself.

Every time I workout watch infomercials of people working out, I imagine chiseling myself into the dad that no boy would mess with.  I imagine standing at the door breaking boards with my pinkie in a tank top, with a prison number tattooed on my neck (fake of course, but looking like a real tattoo) while I sip a latte (other pinkie up). But I digress.

Back to the situation.  I had to take a minute to take the whole situation in.  I knew The Eldest would have been saddened by the loss of a friend.  I also knew that the boy didn’t mean any harm.  He wasn’t saying anything was wrong with my daughter.  He was just trying to break up with her as a friend.

Because of what his “friends” were saying.

The father bear in me wanted to tattoo the prison numbers on my neck and talk to these boys.  However, sanity took over.

“Why can’t you play with her?  Because your friends are making fun of you?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well, let me make this simple.  If they are making fun of you for having a friend then they aren’t good friends.  Secondly, and this is important –

My daughter is NOT your girlfriend.”

“Uh huh.”

“Now go play.”

Five minutes later the two of them were laughing a playing.  And they probably wouldn’t remember the conversation if asked about it now.  But it now lingers in my head.  My first run in as an overprotective father.

I think I passed with flying colors.

For now…Captain Out.

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Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “My Daughter Is NOT Your GIRLFRIEND

  1. Hilarious. I think you handled it well. Ours is the opposite problem. I’ve seen four-year old girls be incredibly aggressive with my oldest, holding his hand and calling themselves his girlfriend.

    No, harlots, you are not. But feel free to play Justice League together.

  2. I think you passed too even though you did not have the tattoo. I pity the boy who messes with your daughter.

  3. I think if your prison tat on your neck just says PRISON TATTOO, it will have extra cred. Also, if my son ever tells me he wants to date the daughter of a man who is breaking boards on his front porch with his pinkie, I’m going to look you up.

    • I like that “Prison Tattoo”. I might have to spell it with a z or something. Lol. Thanks for reading.

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