Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1572b. Help. I am a grown man being held hostage against my will. Unfortunately, this is not the recurring daydream that I used to have during my Biology lab in college (all I remember from Biology is the daydream and Kingdom Phylum Class File Genius Species or whatever – there is a questionable acronym for this – king philip cried out for great s.. except I was sworn not to reveal the whole acronym , but it helped me pass the class) involving my version of the Odyssey and Halle Berry. (No judging. I was in college. Sorry, Halle, but I am spoken for. You had your chance.)
Instead, I am sitting on the floor, in the dark, trying not to make a sound. The eldest fought sleep once more. Once again, I rubbed her back and sat and watched her fall to sleep.
It is like watching paint dry, water boil, or whatever useless analogy you want to use. It truly is nerve wrecking. I could literally feel my blood pressure rise and boil. Just when it seemed she would fall asleep…she would kick herself awake like a wrestler kicking out of a pin. Or, better yet, like the Hulkster hulking out of the sleeper hold.
This girl is strong willed. That could work in my favor in the future, or it could be my undoing.
To complicate things, the diaper dweller woke up and usurped my backup. Now he and Mrs. Captain, who tried unsuccessfully to relieve me from barracks duty – until the eldest kicked her out, are both asleep in the other room.
I am still here. Listening to Disney Princesses (tonight’s selection) singing about manners and etiquette. Catchy toon when you are sitting alone, in the dark, trying not to make a sound.
The dog has even left me. It’s just me and the fish, Nemo (yes, predictable I know). Listening to the Princesses sing.
All are now quiet. This might be my chance.
shhhhh. i’m making a break for it.
p.s. thanks for your votes. we are now #10 on babble. your continued support is appreciated.