Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1635. The Captain has been the father of a daughter for over 4 years now. This has meant the participation in some pretty ridiculous things. And by ridiculous the Captain means fun though sometimes slightly uncomfortable. The Captain has played dress up, had tea parties, had dance parties while dressing up, participated in dance class, etc. The Captain has also been the emergency technician for manicures and pedicures.
Bill Cosby once stated that all a father need do to get out of something is to do it poorly once. The Captain subscribes to this idea – though it hasn’t worked with the cat litter.
Painting a house is one thing. Nails completely different.
Last night was the “emergency situation”. The Eldest wanted her nails done. Mrs. Captain was attending to the Diaper Dweller. Time was of the essence. The Eldest made her plea to the Captain. The Captain had no choice but to acquiesce. And so the nail paint was retrieved. Not one bottle. Not two bottles…BUT ALL FIVE. That’s right a different color for each nail.
The Captain kept his hand as steady as possible, but wound up painting more than nails. The good thing is the Eldest was thrilled regardless of the lackluster service that was provided. Meanwhile, Mrs. Captain laughed and snapped photos the entire time. Here is one of the photos…
A couple of things you will notice in the photo-
1. The Captain’s application is flawless.
2. The Captain does have small hands, but he warns you they are powerful. Chuck Norris fears the Captain’s fetus hands.
3. The pattern on the Eldest’s nightgown is the one that we all had for our Christmas photo (Captain had pajama pants – no Scrooge nightgown though I have the legs to pull it off). It is also the same pattern that Cam had on his cuffs for the Modern Family Christmas episode. That’s right. The Captain’s family is trend setting.
The Captain knows that there are many dads out there with better nail skills. The whole hair and nail thing is just not the Captain’s forte, but as long as he is father to a daughter he will give it a try. Eventually she will be too ashamed to go out in public
which may be how the Captain avoids the whole daughter dating phase that will be the end of him which would be unfortunate.
For now….Captain out.
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