The Mani/Pedi Captain style

Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1635.  The Captain has been the father of a daughter for over 4 years now.  This has meant the participation in some pretty ridiculous things.  And by ridiculous the Captain means fun though sometimes slightly uncomfortable.  The Captain has played dress up, had tea parties, had dance parties while dressing up, participated in dance class, etc.  The Captain has also been the emergency technician for manicures and pedicures.
Bill Cosby once stated that all a father need do to get out of something is to do it poorly once.  The Captain subscribes to this idea – though it hasn’t worked with the cat litter. 
Painting a house is one thing.  Nails completely different. 
Last night was the “emergency situation”. The Eldest wanted her nails done.  Mrs. Captain was attending to the Diaper Dweller. Time was of the essence.  The Eldest made her plea to the Captain.  The Captain had no choice but to acquiesce.  And so the nail paint was retrieved.  Not one bottle.  Not two bottles…BUT ALL FIVE. That’s right a different color for each nail. 
The Captain kept his hand as steady as possible, but wound up painting more than nails.  The good thing is the Eldest was thrilled regardless of the lackluster service that was provided.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Captain laughed and snapped photos the entire time.  Here is one of the photos…

image

A couple of things you will notice in the photo-
1. The Captain’s application is flawless.
2. The Captain does have small hands, but he warns you they are powerful.  Chuck Norris fears the Captain’s fetus hands.
3.  The pattern on the Eldest’s nightgown is the one that we all had for our Christmas photo (Captain had pajama pants – no Scrooge nightgown though I have the legs to pull it off).  It is also the same pattern that Cam had on his cuffs for the Modern Family Christmas episode. That’s right.  The Captain’s family is trend setting.
The Captain knows that there are many dads out there with better nail skills.  The whole hair and nail thing is just not the Captain’s forte, but as long as he is father to a daughter he will give it a try. Eventually she will be too ashamed to go out in public which may be how the Captain avoids the whole daughter dating phase that will be the end of him which would be unfortunate.
For now….Captain out. 

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Categories: daughters, fatherhood | Tags: , , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “The Mani/Pedi Captain style

  1. This is funny because my mom and I absolutely SUCK at painting nails (which is why, unless I paint my own, it ain’t gettin’ done) and my dad is awesome. Before he went to college, he “bumped cars” for a living (fixing wrecks). He was really good at fixing scratches in paint, too, which required a steady hand. That’s why he was my go-to nail painter for homecoming, prom, Sadies, etc. There was no way out for him. And P.S. – I LOVE Cam! He’s my favorite.

    • Hysterical. I think it is awesome that your dad did your nails. Unfortunately, I am not that steady or good for nails. Walls, trim…that’s a different case altogether!
      Cam is super funny. Phil might hit a little too close for me…lol.

  2. Oops, I meant unless I pay to get mine painted, NOT paint my own

  3. The sad part that every single one of your posts, I am hearing William Shatner as I am reading :Captains Log Diaper Date 1635. Anyway on to the subject at hand (pun intended) I have not had the opportunity to do my daughters nails, but my stepdad who practically raised my sister and I once almost went to the store with butterflyhair beretts in his hair. Fortunately, Mom caught it.

    • Now that is classic! Fortunately, I am a proud, voluntary member of the bald brotherhood so that won’t happen to me. However, that shows some serious dedication and involvement on your step dad’s side. Props to him!
      And as long as you don’t hear Shatner’s voice doing priceline commercials we are all good…lol.

      • Well, part of what would have made it even funnier is that my stepdad drove a 1972 Dodge Charger at the time, and had very long hair. Just try to imagine that as a commercial for dads.

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