Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1638. The diaper dweller is homebound for a second straight day. The Captain is in charge of the infirmary today. Yesterday was a comedy of errors.
The Diaper Dweller stayed awake most of the night culminating with a fever at 3 a.m. The Captain tried to go to school to switch his sub plans only to find that the Supermobile would not start. So in Mrs. Captain’s car he went…only to find she didn’t have gas. Finally, the Captain makes it to school only to then remember that his school keys are in the Supermobile. Then, his original copies got swallowed by the copy machine…so he just changed his plans…again. Epic day.
The Eldest got to expand her vocabulary. Since her brother was sick, she of course wanted to check the health of her dolls. Now those of you who have small children know that a thermometer has a short life span under an arm or tongue. You have to go where few thermometers have boldly gone before. That’s right…the rectal thermometer.
In the midst of a diaper change/temperature check the Eldest picked up the rectal thermometer and attempted to play with it.
Me: Sweetie. You don’t want to play with that.
Me: Why are you pouting?
Eldest: I want to play with that.
Me: Eldest, do you like to play with poop?
Me: That goes in the Diaper Dweller’s rear…the same place he poops from.
Me: You can use the regular thermometer.
Eldest: Can I have a snack?
And so continues the lifelong lesson of vocabulary development. I guess one can say…(cue bad pun chorus and David Caruso voice) today was literally a tale from the poop deck. Captain out.
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