The Monstrosity

Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1649.  The weekend has ended. The Captain has never been so excited to return back to school.  There are no bolts to tighten, boards to lift, or slides to assemble.
The monstrosity has been assembled and sits defiantly in the backyard.

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It would not exist without the Captain’s neighbor.  You probably remember the commercials of the Maytag Man – a kind gentleman who sat around playing cards and such because the machines never break (good marketing idea).  Well, my neighbor is the anti-Maytag Man.  Still a kind man, but he never sits around.  He fixes everything for everybody.  Including spending over 14 hours helping. leading the assembly of the playset. 
It is known that the Captain is no handyman.  However, the Captain did a fair share of the work did help out and learned a great deal. 
At the end of the weekend a few things were true – 1. The directions are not idiot proof.  I created a few extra steps and we had to drill a few holes because the Captain put a board upside down.  2.  I bled a little, but the Eldest bled the most.  The Eldest was the victim of an  unfortunate hammock flipping accident, while patiently waiting for the construction to end.  Her bloody nose temporarily halted construction and gave the Captain’s shirt automatic street cred.  3.  The novelty of new play equipment lasts forever for a short time.  After asking every 5 minutes if it was done, trying to climb and play while we built it, the Eldest asked for permission to go out front and play with water balloons after playing on the set for about 10 minutes.  I wanted to shout the quote from Gladiator, “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?” And the fling the drill in my hand (because I wasn’t wielding a sword)…but I thought that might be over the top.  Plus the Eldest hasn’t seen the movie (nor has Mrs. Captain for that matter) and the reference would be lost on her.  The Captain simply said no. 
After we finished, we had a post construction bar-b-que.  We feasted like people about to fall asleep at any moment royalty. 
This much I know…the Captain has the best neighbors, the Eldest loves the playset, and my body feels like it skipped the 30’s and headed to the end of the 40’s. 
But I live to cry build another day.
Captain out.

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Categories: fatherhood | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “The Monstrosity

  1. Hey Capt’
    Looks Fantastic, I can wait until the day I get to undertake a backyard project for my little guy.
    Glad you made it through relatively unscathed 🙂
    Many years of memories will be had on that monstrosity!!

    • As much as I complained during, and thought I was going to actually from exhaustion or frustration- it was still worth it. You will enjoy it when the time comes for you, too!

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