Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1679. I have a nemisis. It is the ice cream truck. I know that everyone loves the ice cream truck and that it brings great joy to the hearts of many, but I loathe the ice cream truck.
Full disclosure. Backstory. The Captain and his sister always had jokes about ice cream trucks that would circle the neighborhood in weather that was too chilly to actually eat ice cream outside. You know, jokes/questions about whether they actually have ice cream for sale in the truck. Well, when the Captain and Mrs. Captain first moved into their home – the ice cream truck got busted. For selling drugs.
Really Ice Cream Man? Mr. Softee was peddling drugs instead of delicious bars and ice cream treats. That’s kind of like finding out that the Tooth Fairy is robbing houses instead of leaving money for teeth. In the meantime, it appeared we had a real life version of Big Worm (Friday reference – not a movie for the kids or those with tender sensibilities).
Flash forward years later…the ice cream truck is always here. We have had a very mild winter with some warm days in February. I am pretty sure that the ice cream lady (under new management) started her shark like circling of the neighborhood before Valentine’s Day.
I’m sure she is a nice lady, but I can’t stand her.
So the Captain is thinking of raising funds and paying her to stay away. How often does she really need to be here? How many times must children cry over her presence (and highway robbery prices- come on ice cream lady, there is a recession going on!).
I also thought of other tactics that could keep her out of the neighborhood, but I have been told they are illegal. The Captain is not trying to get a record – though it would give me street cred for when the Eldest tries to date.
The Eldest has been pretty good about not asking for ice cream each time the truck comes around. But it is still annoying. It is not special ice cream lady. The truck is supposed to be special.
I am contemplating other ideas for when it gets warmer – Luke starting my own truck with cheaper prices just to drove her out.
How do you deal with the ice cream truck? Leave a comment below.
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