Posts Tagged With: parenting

Parenting Until Failure

Sorry this post can be found here. Sorry for the confusion, but the app went crazy on me and published to the wrong page:( 

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New Site. New Home

Dear Poop Deck Community,
This is my last post (I think) from this address. The Captain has a new home and he would love all of you to visit if you haven’t already.
The new site (easy to remember)
Go visit and bring a friend:)
For now…Captain out.
And if you haven’t “Liked” me on Facebook yet, we can still friends…as long as you follow the link and hit that button.

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A Letter

So I would really like to compose a letter expressing my displeasure with the state of one of our local parks. But before I do, I am wondering if your local parks are in a disarray as well? Is this common and I am merely overreacting?
We constantly find trash – including, but not limited to: paper, food products, condoms (unwrapped, not checking if they are used…gross), pop bottles, beer bottles, random debris, diapers, and much more. Please share this post and give me some feedback. Thanks…
Captain out

(No dolls were harmed in the writing of this post. And no we did not plant the doll there. She was there along with a lot of other trash.)
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How Monsters Began


Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 2113. Over the weekend we took both of the kiddos to see Monsters University. As with most things involving kids – this was still an operation.
The Eldest was still riding high off her dance recital performance the previous night. Her listening ears were unmatched. She couldn’t wait to go see the movie. In fact, we had to intervene as it seemed see was organizing her own party to go see the movie. Last count she had invited the entire street and some random person at the grocery store. We had to sadly inform her that daddy did not drive a clown car.
The smartest thing we did was a suggestion from Mrs. Captain. We drove separately.
By virtue of our experience watching the Hunger Games (the movie stopped 3/4 of the way through, ruining one of the two movie dates Mrs. Captain and I have had since the boy was born) we only had to buy one ticket to see MU. So, we paid a small mortgage payment for popcorn and snacks and waited for the movie to begin.
I don’t want to give too much about the movie away, but our little monsters enjoyed it and the adults laughed several times as well. It is definitely worth seeing!
The littlest of monsters did not make it through the entire movie. He was escorted out of the theater (by Mrs. Captain) when he hopped down and started feeling the backs of people’s heads and trying to eat their popcorn. I tried to explain that he was a phrenologist (look it up), but that didn’t seem to make things better. At any rate, he was asleep before they left the parking lot. Rule number one of parenting – divide and conquer.
The movie was so good that The Eldest wanted me to go out and purchase the movie immediately. I had to explain that movies didn’t work out that way. It would have been a good time to explain movie piracy (bad), but I opted to save that lecture for later.
All in all, it was a good time and a good sequel or prequel. The fact that it chronologically took place before Monster’s Inc. has The Eldest calling the original #2 and the new one #1. Cute.
Whatever you want to call it, go see Monsters University right now. Good movie.
Time to shove off. For now…Captain out.
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Seasonal Stay At Home Dad: Impeding Mutiny


Captain’s Log.  Daddy Chronicles.  Diaper Date 1938.  One of the joys of being a teacher is the fact that the Captain is a “seasonal stay at home dad”.  Occasionally, the Captain gets the joys (and challenges) of being a stay at home parent.  Obviously, it is not the same as being home every day, but it is enough to give the Captain even more respect for those that do it on a daily basis.  If you think it is easy, you should try doing it for an extended period of time.  It always bugs the Captain when people label SAH moms and dads as lazy.  Hogwash. 
Today, the Captain would like to share one of the fun activities.  You see, the Eldest constructed a bunker (made of chairs and blankets) worthy of being on one of those doomsday shows.  Unbeknownst to her, doomsday is here- The Diaper Dweller.  And the dog.  And the cats.
Currently, the bunker is causing joy and, probably soon, tears.  But the important part is the kids are playing.  Yes, Monsters Inc.  is playing in the background, but the siblings are playing and that is all that matters-
Uh, oh.  Breaking news.  The Eldest just said, “I don’t want a little brother.”.
Trouble is brewing.  Duty calls.  The Captain has to go.  Much love to the Stay At Home Parents.  I salute you. 
Happy New Year!  Captain Out…
All hands on deck.  There’s mutiny…

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May the odds be ever in your favor.

Captain’s Log.  Spring Break Chronicles.  Diaper Date 1661.  This has not been the most auspicious start to the Captain’s Spring Break.    Mrs. Captain arrived to pick up the Captain for an impromptu date to see The Hunger Games.  This is where the day turned. 

The movie was awesome – pretty true to the book without being as gory as I feared.  (Side note – Great casting job – EXCEPT for Peeta.  Like the actor, but not what the book described especially in comparison to Gale.) At least the part I saw was good. 
If you don’t know anything about the Hunger Games, it is a pretty dark distopian film.  Not a whole lot of comedy.  The point is to make you feel awkward, anxious, and maybe a little sick to your stomach. 

Now imagine that in the midst of a pretty tense scene (there may have been some rioting, extreme crying from a main character, and the demise of a likeable character – all at the same time) that the movie cuts out.

Three times. 

Not cuts out like the movie flickers and then comes back.  Cuts out and you are sitting in darkness. 

Three times. 

The Captain rushed to the desk and told the proper “authorities” that the movie was busted.  The response, “We have to call somebody.”

Uh, what? 

So finally someone goes to the booth and restarts the movie.  Yeah, RESTARTS the movie. 

Another visit to the desk.  Another visit to the booth.  Movie gets back close to where it cut off.  We see the same riot again.  Movie stops again. 

At one point it almost seemed like the movie was daring us to take action.  In attendance?  Three old guys, a college student, and the Captain couple (sans kids).  Sounds like the beginning of a joke…or news headline.

After the first attempt to resuscitate the movie we got a free pass.  After the second the Captain got his money back. 

After the third attempt, the Captain couple left. 

What are the chances?  Odds are we dont get an opportunity together to finish the movie. 

So, the Captain has now seen the Hunger Games except the last 20-30 minutes.  Does he go back and watch the WHOLE movie, or just try to get into the last third of the movie? 

The Captain had thought about buying a Mega Million lotto ticket, but after his stroke of luck today he decided against it.  They say you have a better chance of getting in an auto accident on the way to buy your ticket than you do of winning. 

Huh.  I think Catniss told Prim the same thing before the Reaping (movie reference).  Maybe I should have bought a ticket. Oh well. 

May the odds ever be in your favor.

Captain out.

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The Bully

Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1646.
It is Friday and that should be a good thing.  However, today the Captain feels like that kid that picked on the school bully and now has a date with destiny behind the schoolhouse after the last bell.  You know, one of those, “Oh. So you think you’re bad, huh? Back of the school. Be there. I’ll be waiting.” Gulp. (Not that the Captain ever had a bully.  Okay, real talk. The Captain had two personal bullies from kindergarten until the seventh grade.  It was like having a consierge for threats, havoc, “accidental tackles” while playing four square, attempted stolen lunches, and hyena snickering.  The Captain is proud to say he never got beat up and never threw a punch.  Thank you Mr. Miyagi and Karate Kid 1-3. Wax on works. Trust me.  I caught a punch by accident.  It shocked and scared me and the bullies.)







The weekend is normally a good thing.  But the Captain has been aiding and abetting (whatever that means) the enemy in his very own garage.
The monstrosity of a wood playset sits in my garage.  Don’t let the enchanting smell of fresh cedar fool you.  This beast ain’t nice.Three boxes of assembly.  Three rounds with the heavyweight champion of the world.  And I’m Popeye – before the spinach.  Better yet, the Captain is more like Olive Oil when it comes to handiness and tools (I can break stuff like a champ, though).
Fortunately, I have a good neighbor who puts up with my ineptness and some other family and friends who are able to help out.
It is just an eerie feeling walking through the garage and coming face to face box with my foe. In the background I hear the sound of the Smoke Monster from Lost.  This playground set is waiting to swallow me whole.
The Captain is just trying to focus on the fact that his kids will love it.  His kids’ friends (whom we love) will love it.  The other neighborhood kids will…uh-oh. The Captain didn’t think that far ahead.  The Captain needs to go and reinforce the borders of the homestead.
Of course, if it rains all this is a moot point for another week.  Which means the boxes will simply haunt me for one week more.
Either way…it should be interesting.
Captain out…

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Raising a Supervillain…part II

Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1639.  The Diaper Dweller is approaching full strength.  This makes the crew happy and scares us at the same time.  Around dinnertime last night, the Diaper Dweller resumed his regular tactics.  He tortured the Eldest by taking her things. Fortunately, she found it adorable and cute.  It might have been opposite day. 
Speaking of the Eldest, I grow concerned with her choices in entertainment.  She has fallen in love with the movie Megamind.


Do you dare challenge Megamind?!?

It is pretty funny.  Comes with a PG rating, but aside from the satiric violence (which can be a big deal with many kids) there are minimal questionable scenes.  As a parent, you appreciate not having to explain much.  But as a parent you are also leary. 
Am I raising my child to be a supervillain?
Now I have already explored the possibility that  my son may be a villain, but perhaps I am overlooking the obvious. Perhaps evil is being trained right beneath my nose in the disguise of princess pink, dance attire, and bouncy baby lamby curls.  Perhaps my daughter is a supervillain in training…
It makes sense to a degree. I, too, was once an aspiring supervillain.  Growing up there were three characters I adored. Okay four. The Incredible Hulk and Spiderman receive honorable mentions.   Superman, for obvious reasons, was a mainstay.  He and I were born in the same city afterall.  But after Supes, there was Chewie, Godzilla, and Darth Vader.  Two of the three destroyed things on a regular basis.  While it can be argued that Godzilla was misunderstood, and a creation of the negligence of mankind, there is no debating that Vader was bad.  And I loved him.  I was never afraid of him.  I wanted to be him.  I would walk around and say, “Your lack of faith is disturbing,” and, my favorite, “…you are not a Jedi yet.” (Sidenote: Jedi gets autocorrected to Jesus…I’m not comfortable with that.)
Aside from the obvious dark garb, Megamind and the Dark Lord of the Sith have something in common – (spoiler alert) they both experience a sort of redemption. 
So maybe things aren’t as bleak as I think.  Maybe she will bring balance to the Force.  Or maybe she will discover that her intellect can be used to save the day. 
As long as she doesn’t fall in love with a villain/badboy…  Like the DirecTv commercials says, “Then you’ll wind up with a grandkid in a dog collar.  Don’t have a grandchild with a dog collar.”
I will be mindful of Megamind, but I don’t think I have much to worry about.  I mean the Captain turned out okay. 
Umm. Commence worrying.
Captain out. 

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